Derrick Caracter F Los Angeles Lakers

Derrick Caracter of the currently playoff Los Angeles Lakers was arrested in the early morning of Easter on three charges; Battery, Public Intoxication, and Resisting Arrest.

The incident occurred at a IHOP when a waitress, who was at first reportedly pregnant, refused to serve Caracter due to the fact that he was too intoxicated. The arrest happened at around 1:00 AM when he repeatedly hit the waitress because, well, she wouldn't give the drunk ass his Denver Scramble. A manger ran outside and flagged down a police officer who tried to diffuse the situation, but Caracter wouldn't cooperate.

Later it was corrected that the waitress was, in fact, not pregnant.

The Rookie Caracter has been inactive for the entirety of the playoff series against the New Orleans Hornets thus far, and I wouldn't expect anything else going forward. He was the 58th selection in the NBA Draft.

Ron Artest F Los Angeles Lakers

Ron Artest does 2 things:

1. Play Defense Hard
2. Party Hard.

The former first round pick by the Chicago Bulls has had about as interesting a career as you can have not being  named Dennis Rodman. Artest won NBA Defensive Player of the Year in 2004, and won a championship with the Lakers last season, but he is more known for what he has done off the court. Specifically, the Pistons-Pacers brawl. After fouling Pistons Ben Wallace, and being shoved which led to an altercation by the scoring desk, Artest lay down on the scorers table, when a fan threw a Diet Coke on him. Then the shit hit the fan, he jumped into the stands and incorrectly picked a fight with the wrong person. That led to an all out Pacers on Pistons fan brawl, which ended up on the court with Artest punching a fan who was verbally abusing him. He received the longest suspension for on-court conduct in NBA history, 73 games and playoffs.

Other off the field conduct that has led to his (in?)famous career is proclaiming that he drank Hennessey Cognac in the locker room at halftime while with the Chicago Bulls, showing up to practices wearing a bath robe, applying at Circuit City so that he could get an employee's discount, his rap album, a domestic abuse charge, and just overall being a total bad ass.