They may be heavyweights of the gridirons, squared circles, cornfields in Iowa and the like, but they are human, much like us. The Chicago Cubs baffling closer Carlos Marmol is no exception. Hailing from the Dominican Republic, Marmol took part in much suki suki as well as yuki yuki before the Cubs realized he was useless as a catcher and turned him into a pitcher. Seems like they made the right choice.
While opposing hitters have had troubles picking up Marmol's nasty slider that curves more than Adriana Lima's physique (I know, right?!) and his mid 90's fastball, it is clear in this picture that Mr. Marmol obviously is having troubles picking up on how you should dress when you're trying to pick up some 'tang.
Despite the fact that his shirt appears to be uncomfortably tucked into his jockstrap, Marmol is so much of a boss that he set a new MLB record averaging just under 16 k/9. That's right he was dropping hitters at a faster pace than Kimbo Slice drops backyard hooligans. He failed as a starter, they made him a reliever, and he has relished ever since. If you were to form a championship dodgeball team, this guy...THIS GUY should be the top pick. Watch him pitch and count how many times he can make a grown man shit his pants and buckle his knees. It's actually quite disgusting.
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